And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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