I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I want to make a zoo with you.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
