i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
