no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
