I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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