i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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