So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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