even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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