first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
