and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
