google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
