I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
