they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
