we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
