why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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