i think i have two assholes
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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