I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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