His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
