theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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