He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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