Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
