The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
