Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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