if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
