So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
