i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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