just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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