theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
