Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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