Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
