She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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