xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
