she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
