Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
