Your mouth is God's brothel.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
No subtext here. People are naked.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We don't watch enough power rangers
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
