For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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