Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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