You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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