i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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