I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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