Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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