also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Randomize
