my mouth tastes like poor choices
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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