When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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