Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
