it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
