those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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