If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
