maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
