In the future we'll all be gay
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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