wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
