I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize